That Warm Feeling

Sure, people warn you about all the dirty diapers you'll change throughout your child's life. But alas it doesn't stop there.

Sometimes I'll be feeding Elijah and all of a sudden I get that warm feeling. No, I'm not talking about this overwhelming sense of fondness for this little bundle of joy. I'm talking about something a little more personal than that--I'm talking about getting urinated on. That's right people, urine. I'm giving this child his sole source of nutrition and you know what he does to thank me? He pees on me.   

Thankfully, the family I come from, the Shulman side, finds bodily functions hilarious. So, I can't say it ever really grosses me out. In fact, I must share another funny instance. If this stuff disturbs anyone, please omit the next paragraph from your reading experience.

One morning, not too long ago, I was changing Elijah on his changing table when all Hades broke loose. The diaper was off, and well I'm sure you can imagine what happened next. The thing that freaked me out was that I was watching the bottom half when all of a sudden projectile vomitus came spewing on me. Needless to say, it totally messed with my head. All I felt was a cascade of warmth on me, and I have to say, I thought I was being pooped on. Thankfully, it wasn't quite that bad. Sorry for the vivid picture, but hey, that's a slice of my life. Hopefully, you weren't innocently snacking and catching up on your blog reading when you stumbled upon this lovely post. Hopefully, you can still finish your candy bar.

And just to let you know, that warm feeling of fondness for Elijah grows each day.