Favorite Outfit

One of the funny things about our little guy has become his propensity to want to wear one outfit… literally one. A pair of Carter’s “Super Sleepyhead” Giraffe pajamas with short bottoms… even now that its December (which considering that its suppose to hit 70 degrees on Christmas, it means nothing in Georgia). For the past couple of months, he has sought only to wear these clothes. Starting in the beginning of November, his mother informed me that she was pretty sure he had worn his favorite outfit for four days straight.

Day and night. Before and after baths. Four days. Straight.

She had to finally peel them off him so she could wash them, much to his frustration. But once they were washed and dried, he was quickly to show up wearing his favorite outfit. In fact, later that week he had quite the meltdown when I forced him to change out of them and wear pants so he could go to Awana.

We took him Christmas shopping a few weeks ago and made him wear pants. Joshua kept trying to hid his legs at the restaurant so no one would see him wearing pants. Because, after all, he would “look weuhd.” Yep, wearing pants in December is pretty weird (well, perhaps in Georgia this year).

Call the Cops

This evening, Stephanie showed the family a photo of her step-brother in his new police officer’s uniform. Aubrey, who is enamored with her Uncle Cameron and his ability to be a human jungle gym, quickly pipped up and said, "I hope someone breaks into our house so Cameron will come and give me a hug."

I’m sure there are less invasive ways to encourage a visit from a relative…

Refill?

This evening, as we were around the dinner table, finishing another “peaceful” (ha, ha… anything but) dinner, Joshua in his mother’s lap, I looked over to see little J sipping water out of his own cup and spitting it back out in his mother’s glass.

Sure that his mother was unaware of his actions, I asked loudly, “Joshua, why are you spitting in your mama’s glass?”

This quickly got her attention (and everyone else’s) and Joshua replied, “I’m fillin it back up.”

We all got a good laugh at his toddler logic.

Fear Not Festival 2016

For Halloween, we took the family to our church for the Fear Not Festival. Stephanie volunteered and spent the evening happily painting children’s faces. Aubrey and Elijah both ended up with other friends and families, while I spent almost the whole time at the inflatables watching Joshua repeatedly go through the obstacle course over and over and over again. He loved it and didn’t care about much anything else. One of the teenagers manning the station kept asking him for a high-five as he climbed up the ladder for the final slide. His response was classic toddler talk (or drunk friend at a party). "No, "he would laugh, "Elijah has braces."

Sparkly Unicorn

This season we decided to put both Elijah AND Aubrey into Madison County Soccer. I ended up volunteering for assistant coach on Elijah's team, The Gators (yes, Michael the head coach is a Florida Gators fan). But Aubrey's coach let the kids pick, although I didn't quite understand this at first. On the way to her second practice, she announced, "I want to be on the unicorn team." Apparently that was one girl's suggestion: The Sparkly Unicorns. I'm sure all the boys voted against that one, though.

So after soccer practice, even though I overheard several parents commenting how they enjoyed that option, Aubrey lamented that the vote didn't go her way. However, Jaguars makes a much more fearsome opponent.

Then, on the way home, my pretty little daughter tooted in the back seat and inquired, "Do you wish you were this chair?" Yeah, that was hardly sparkly unicorn behavior.

"You did what in your cup?"

 So a while back I took both the boys to their doctor's appointment. Today, it was Aubrey's turn. So my little girl prepared for her visit by packing all the necessities for a doctor's appointment. Blankets, a stuffed valentine bear, a few family photos, her Stellaluna book, and a candy cane ornament. The doctor and nurse found it amusing. It was rather cute to see the arrangement.

So, while Elijah watched over his brother, I took Aubrey into the bathroom to pee in a cup. Afterward, the doctor asked her, "Did you pee in a cup?" I answered, "She did." Aubrey then added, "And I peed on Daddy's hand too." Everyone laughed at that.

Later on, Aubrey asked for a cup of water. The nurse brought her some in a paper cup. As she was drinking, Elijah noticed something. "Hey," he announced, "your drinking out of your pee cup." Aubrey stopped and looked at her empty cup in disgust as she noticed the similarities. Then we all bust out laughing.

Childhood Theology

Joshua is always faithful to remind us if we forget the blessing, folding his little hands and telling us, "Bessin."


Often, I try to take the kids through theological questions (the Neal Catechism) or reciting Bible verses; always trying to hammer the basics into their impressionable brains. As Mark Driscoll used to say, I want to make sure they don't miss the big "E" on the eye chart.

Anyway, Elijah learned most of them when he was four and five, and now Aubrey has really gotten into it, often asking me every night, "Can you ask us how many Gods are there?" And thus, we launch into it. And she has picked up on most of them pretty quick.

Afterwards, she wants to talk about "Eden and Av" in the garden. It's adorably cute.
"God told Eden and Av to eat all the trees in the garden except one because it was special. Then was a snake was there and it was evil and told Eden to eat it. Them took it... Eden took one piece and Av took one piece. Then, them didn't have any clothes, so they built clothes. And then, them got sent out of the garden and God put two angels there and fire swords in their hands. Amen."

Helpful Attitude

Aubrey has recently taken a great identity in being "a good helper" and a "good cleaner upper." She helped me unload the car last weekend after our lake trip, pulling luggage that was often too big for her. But it is a delight to have her take such pride in cleaning her room, even folding and putting her clothes away. Once she gets started, she goes all out, getting it ready "to vacuum." Makes me proud... just like her Daddy who organized the games and game closet of the Lake House we stayed at this weekend... I just couldn't help myself. Can't stand seeing everything in disarray

Sweet Moments, Part 1

Password Needed
Stephanie informed me of a short but humorous exchange between her and her daughter last Friday:
Aubrey announced to her mother, "God doesn't know everything that I'm thinking."

Stephanie quickly corrected her. "Oh, Yes He does."
Without hesitation she replied, "But I didn't give him my password."


Funny Wordin
Aubrey has recently started choosing things by the "eeny, miny, moe," method, but hers seems to be a little different. "Eeny, meeny, miny, moe. Ketchup on a toe."

In July, I was reading Joshua a book. "Whats this?" I asked, pointing to a snowflake. "Elsa!" He exclaimed.

Kids are impressionable, and Joshua picks up bad things from both his parents and his siblings. "Shup!" he yells at the dogs to tell them to be quiet.
"Mean Daddy." He'll say randomly. I doubt he really knows what it means, but he hears his brother and sister get in trouble enough to know it, and Aubrey likes to throw it in her rotation of things to get Joshua to say in the car. ("Jay, say 'Banana!'" "Bah-na-na." "Good!")

"Top it, Daddy." He tells me whenever I start to annoy him or sing the Frozen songs in an annoying voice.

"Pah-kuh!" he shouts, as he raises his Popsicle in the air with victory, and the rest of the family joins in.

Often, Jay wakes up, and comes in the Living Room in the morning with droopy eyes, as if he is still waiting for his cup of coffee. The first thing out of his mouth is usually, "Whe-uh my pah-cee go?"

Early this summer, Elijah askied, "Have I had a sleep over with Kingston and Kali?" Then after a pause he answered his own question, "I think so."
Aubrey piped up, "Whose Kingston and Kali? I don't remember."
Finding this rather strange, I said, "Uh... Mrs Jessica's kids. Little brother named Korbin."
Remembering his blonde curly hair, she asked, "The one with the noodle hair?"

We waiting until after Aubrey was four before she made her start using big kid toothpaste. We were with some friends when Aubrey randomly announced that she "could spit." We understood she was referring to the fact she now used big girl toothpaste, but no one had any context.

Not that long ago I went in to tuck Aubrey in and got a hygiene reminder after I brushed her leg with a fingernail. "Hey Daddy, you huwt me. You need to cut yous finguh nails."


Our Public Schools Are Failing Us
At the end of last year, we were riding in the van when Elijah announced: "I think I can name all the constinents: Asia, Africa, Alabama, North America, South America... Is that right, Mama?"


Appeal to Educational Value
After not getting to listen to what she wanted to listen to in the card and Elijah did, she expressed her frustration by belittling the educational quality of his choice. "Adventuhs in Odyssey teaches you bout nothin!" she said with a pouty face.


A Pixar Perspective
Aubrey, after seeing the movie "Inside Out" saw some red buttons and said, "Those buttons are anger."


Reptile Salutations
Last month, Joshua bid me farewell by saying, "Bye, bye, aygatuh tahtodiyo (aligator, crocodile)." He put together "See you later, Alligator. After awhile, Crocodile."


Letters
After our friend Ellie and her three kids left after a Friday hangout in August, Elijah decided he wanted to make a card for his friend Memphis (I'll give you three guesses what Elijah's love language is). Naturally Aubrey began making one for her equivalent: Myah. Then Jay followed with wanting to make a card for the youngest Bradshaw, "Bae-Bae Max!"

Elijah, Aubrey and Joshua and their counterpart buddies in the Bradshaw family: Memphis, Myah, and Max; all enjoying a watermelon treat. We were hoping for a better Kodak moment, but we were all a sweaty mess as soon as we walked out into the muggy August evening.

Update on Jackie
Aubrey has had an imaginary friend that occasionally visits. Creeps her Aunt Riya out. So we make sure to text Miriya anytime Aubrey informs us that Jackie has gone to Florida without us. Sometime in July, Stephanie sent me this text: "Jackie was apparently hurt in an army battle while protecting the queen."


Joke Time:
Every kid loves the knock, knock joke: "Knock, knock. Who's there? Interrupting Cow. Interrup... MOOO!" And each child has tried to master it. One evening Aubrey was rehearsing it over and over again in the bathtub. Joshua would try the abbreviated version by balling up his little fists and drumming either side of his head while saying, "Knock, knock." And then after a short pause he would exclaim, "Mooo!"

Aubrey Good Night Hugs

After getting all the kids to bed, both Elijah and Aubrey will call for me several times. After a several minute conversation with Elijah about death and heaven (not sure where this came from), Aubrey called me in to her room. I begrudgingly walked back in.

“What do you want, Aubrey?” I asked.

“I love you, Daddy.” she said in her sweet voice.

I smiled and knelt down by her bed and gave her a big hug. “I love you too.”

She hugged my neck tight and said, “Sleep with me, Daddy.”

Still embracing her and enjoying the tender moment I said, “I can’t, you’ll choke me.” Her hold was rather constricting.

“Don’t leave me, Daddy. Stay With Me.” She kept repeating these things over and over again. I closed my eyes and continued to hug her. Then she stopped, gave a short pause, and said, “Daddy… can you leave me now?”

And with that, I was given my leave.

Some latest funnies...

Next
Earlier last month, Aubrey asked me, "Daddy, can we sell Peno and get a cute little puppy."

Famous Author
Around that same time, Stephanie showed Elijah her some of her latest craft creations, one of her Tree Hugger bookmarks, "I'm going to do one of Jesus," she told him. "Why?" Elijah asked, "He didn't write anything famous?" Ummmm.... I believe he quickly realized his mistake.

Walking with God
About a week later, talking with Elijah about what it means to be a disciple of Jesus, I explained that we follow Christ, we walk with God wherever he leads. "I don't want to walk with God part of the time, because I would get really tired." Or maybe God would.

Overstaying Our Welcome
Aubrey wanted to snuggle with her mother a few nights later, but quickly grew weary of her presence in her bed. "I weally tieuhd. Get outta my bed, Mama."

Which kid?
A day or two later, while we were getting the kids ready for bed, I called Aubrey into the bathroom to brush her teeth. "Yes, Mama." she said as she climbed up on the step stool. After a short pause she corrected herself, "I mean Daddy."

"That's okay, I mess up you guys' name all the time," thinking specifically about this evening when I kept calling Elijah, 'Jay.' "But I don't usually mess your name up, do I," I asked.

Pushing my hand away with the toothbrush so she could speak, she said, "When you see long chockey-milk haiuh, you say, 'Aubee.'"

Make Up What You Don't Know
The other night, when it seemed like no one was paying attention to the Bible story, I started quizzing the kids. Elijah started rattling off what he knew, and since this was regarding the Shepherd's hearing about the birth of Christ, Elijah recounted their proclamation, "Savannah and the highest"

Strange Gratitude
The next evening we were playing outside before bedtime. Earlier, Aubrey had turned up her nose at a new soup meal at dinner time, but thought to thank her mom sometime later in this manner. "Thank you for making the yukky dinner tonight, Mama." What a delight.

Joshua's New Words

It's great to finally hearing the little guy talk. And talk he does, excelling daily in the words he knows and uses. He knows all our names, "Aw-bee, I-Jah, Da-de, Ma-ma." He especially knows his vehicles, "Cah, Bahs, kuck" (Car, Bus, Truck), and of course his favorite train, "Tho-miss."

The other day, he pulled out an old stuffed animal of mine from in the boys room. "Do you like the puppy?" I asked. "Puh-tee!" he exclaimed. "His name is Henry," I told him. "Ho-nee," he repeated over and over.

That very night we were on the couch and I said something about the applications on my phone, to which Jay repeated, "App-i-ta-tah." Stephanie and laughed when we heard him attempting a four syllable word. "Good job," we applauded.

Six months ago he cried and through a fit the few times we put him in the back bike seat for a quick bike ride around the block. Now he loves it, asking to go on a "Bike wie." I took him for a spin, just him and me a few Wednesday nights ago. This past Wednesday Stephanie I both took him for a ride (the other two were at Awana), and I was honored to hear that he wanted to ride behind, "Da-dee."

Apparently most mornings, as Jay watches his older sister eat her vitamins, he desires more than the single multivitamin that apparently taste so good for him. "Vitamee?" he asks excitedly. When Stephanie produced the single chewable, he begs for more. "Twoo?"

Aubrey's Audibles, Part 9

Funny Wordin

"Tinkatules" - tentacles

"Pahs-ghetti" - spaghetti

"Hopscotch" - the level, which the kids use as a walking stick

"I'll bwush youwse hayuhs" - I'll brush your hair."

I just love to hear her say stuff like, "youwse."

When she was out with Stephanie shopping not that long ago, she was sneaking and running around the store, telling her mom, "I seekee agent, Mama."

Child Theology

When Aubrey threw a tantrum and I put her in her bed, she called me "mean!" I told her, "The problem is in here," pointing to her heart. Her face scrunched up in defiance and said, "No! My heuht is happy. My face is not happy."

A few weeks ago we heard her in the back of the van telling us about he Bible. We tried to write down what we could, because it was a joy to hear. "God made the galaxy and Moses. Moses made an ark ship and then the disciples threw him in the sea. Then a big fish swallowed him up and he was there three days. Then the fish spit him up on the beach. Then God told the sea to stop. God can do anything."

After a falling out with her friend Leah earlier in the day, Aubrey stated in the van, "God made everybody," but under her breath she stated, "Except for Leah."

 "So who made Leah?" Stephanie asked her.

 "Moses."

Aubrey's Audibles, Part 8

Interesting Perspective
Sometime after Christmas, we passed a car with reindeer antlers coming from the side windows. Aubrey pointed to them and exclaimed, "Olaf hands." (To those that don't know, Olaf is the snowman in the movie Frozen)

Troubles Being a Girl
Not too long ago, Aubrey expressed her great frustration at living in a house with boys. With great emphasis, she said, "E always leave the seat the wong way!"

Jokes
During dinner a few weeks ago, Stephanie and I were trying to teach Elijah the fine art of humor after painfully sitting through several of his improve jokes. Stephanie told one of her favorites knock-knock jokes, the interrupting cow. The kids enjoyed it, and later we head Aubrey in the bath tube retelling it to herself. "Knock, knock. Whobody dere? Knock, knock. Whobody dere? Cow. Moooo!"

Yoda Talk
Playing hide and seek, the other day with Elijah, Aubrey yells, "Ready I come or not."

A Little Disgusting
The other night after I tucked Aubrey in, she called out for a tissue. When I came in her room carrying the requested item, she told me, "I got a big bugguh. I need to smoosh it for a long time so it is weal flat like a cookie." Nice.

Names
"What's your purple bears name?" I asked her this morning as we lay in her bed together.
"Pumpkin!" Aubrey answered, obviously making it up on the spot.
"Wouldn't Violet be a more appropriate name?"
Not sure she even understood that whole sentence, she nodded hesitantly in agreement, then changed her mind. "Her name is Hello Kitty Frozen Blanket."
Wow. What a name.

Wasted Tears

Last night for dinner, Aubrey was in a very emotional mood, whining and crying over the simplest thing. It started with the her and Elijah going at it, and her hauling off and smacking her brother, then getting sent to her room. That in itself was a small struggle, so she had to wait a little bit before coming to the dinner table. She seemed in anguish about waiting for dinner, complaining that she was so hungry that her "belly ache." But when she finally was allowed to join us for dinner, her bowl of chilli must not have been what she expected, and she decided immediately that it was (the usual), "yucky." She whinned about the "white" (sour cream), and wanted it "out." Then she wanted a napkin to wipe it off her spoon. Then she sobbed about the yucky black things (beans) and begged to have them removed. And she was almost in tears when some of the chilli fell off her spoon. At that breakdown, I brokedown myself... in laughter. The absurdity of it all just overtook me and I busted out laughing. I also couldn't help myself in imitating the ridiculous display that I was witnessing. It's probably not the pinnacle of parenthood to mock your children, but I rather enjoyed complaining about the color and of my glass and the poor choice of direction of the wind.

But I also realize that I actually do this in reality. I complain about things that must seem absurd to our Heavenly Father. With such a limited perspective, it's easy to get tunnel vision and just see the tragedy of our food slipping off our spoon and think that the end is near. We fail to see how often our tears are wasted on unworthy issues... well, I know mine are. If only I would see things from my Father's perspective, then I could more accurately navigate through life and emotionally respond more appropriately to life's circumstances.

And for the record, Aubrey did finally eat her chilli in order to receive some precious fruit (some slices of pear and apple).

Aubrey's Audibles, Part 7

New Bedtime Ritual
Aubrey has taken to taking her pajama pants off every night... and sometimes even the top. We've walked in there a few nights to cover her up, and find her curled up in her panties. The strangest part to me, is that it's winter, and we keep out house set at 67 degrees (which it does get a little warmer in the afternoon on those sunny days). The other night I came in to tuck her in, and she had already halfway disrobbed.
"Where are your pants?" I asked.
"I take dem off," she answered.
"Why?"
"Cause I was cold."
"Cold? Shouldn't you have been hot?"
"My bed Jammie's too comfy, and I wanted blanket-Ee on me."
I fail to see any logic in this conversation.

Wait, What?
On Halloween, Aubrey and Elijah received chocalate frogs from G-Mommy. But it was strange to hear my little girl say enthusiastically, "Mmmmm... That fwog is tasty!"

Hangry Tummy
A few weeks ago, she came to breakfast very hungry (probably after turning her nose up at dinner the night before).
"My belly is a monster!" she exclaimed.

Delighted Response
The other night, after we decorated for Christmas, we watched polar express with the kids. When Stephanie brought the kids hit chocolate, Aubrey expressed with an abundance of enthusiasm after the first sip, "It feels sooooo good!"

Soccer Squeeze, Season 1

Well, even though we lost that last game, we ended the season with a makeup game victory 6-0. The team was pulling for Elijah to score, but he ended the season without a goal. However, for his first season, he has drastically improved. He’s getting over his timidity to get in the fray, and his improved ability to kick the ball with power and accuracy has been impressive. And most importantly, he has developed a love for the game, a better understanding of teamwork, and several lessons learned (or at least opportunities for those teachable moments).

A few funny moments this season:

Since Elijah’s coach was Kevin Cheek, a friend we knew from church and familiar with Elijah’s nickname, the whole team knew Elijah as “Squeeze.” In fact, one official was under the impression that that was the team’s name after they heard the coaches and parents cheering, “Go Squeeze!”

After the last game and during our cookout celebration, Elijah’s trophy was missing from the lineup. He still got his photo with the coach, and later he got a cool T-shirt as an apology. In addition, no one else got their nickname on their trophy… a good teachable moment.

Elijah and I worked a lot together to develop his skill, and so I was often locked into the game to watch his performance. Sometimes I would just go, but there were several occasions that the whole family went to watch. On one occasion, I heard a stern, “Aubrey,” from Stephanie and turned my head to see Stephanie grabbing our daughter who had her pants around her ankle. She told us she needed to “pee.” She also told us she was “only kiddin.” I never know with her, but I could just hear Jeff Foxworthy saying, “If your daughter pulls her pants down at the soccer field to pee, you might be a redneck.”

Can’t wait for next season and what it might bring.

Sigh... Girls

With three kids, I've already discovered every one of them is different. But the most amazing difference is between boys and girls. And being a male myself, the perplexing activity most often comes from my daughter (I can often relate to the strange things that Elijah or Joshua do).

Aubrey has her morning ritual in which she requires her bowl of cereal, juice, vitamins, and wet wash cloth (to clean up her spillovers from her spoon). And if she is missing anything, she is prompt in letting Stephanie know.

Yesterday morning at about 4 a.m., I awoke to the fitful whining of a three year old. Then came the cries, "Mama. Daddy." I went in and covered her up, believing she said she was cold. I then went back to bed, only to hear the porcelain knock of the toilet lid. Seconds later I heard the slightly softer, "Daddy." I got back out of bed and went into the kids bathroom. Immediately she announces, "I peed." I help her out, and then washed my hands. As she pulled up her pants she whispered, "I don't need to wash my hands." I was too tired to really care, so I just said, "Let's get in bed." She climbed into bed, requested "med-sun" (medicine... a Tum) as relief for her "Beh-ee ach." Once I returned from retrieving one, I covered her up and laid next to her feet at the edge of the bed. A minute later she whispered, "I wanchoo to geh outta my woom now."

Elijah would be begging me to stay there all night, but not my little girl. She won't hesitate to shut the bathroom door in my face for "pivacy," unless it's 4 a.m. and she wants a Tum. But once she's got what she wants, she wants me out of there.

Random Elijah, Part 1

Who knows how to categorize some of this stuff...

Ninjas and Clowns
Last week, my dad was making funny faces at the table while were eating dinner with them. Elijah's observation: "You look like a ninja... or a clown."


Dad Qualifies?
Today, before getting Elijah on the bus, I pulled Elijah's bookbag down and felt a little extra weight. I opened it up and saw Friday's lunch bag, and thus concluded that his mother had not checked over his homework and signed the necessary papers. So I went into the bedroom and quietly asked her what I needed to sign. I then went back into the living room and opened his notebook to check and sign where I was suppose to.

Elijah observed and then asked. "Are you going to sign Mama's name?"

"No, Squeeze. I'm a parent too, you know."


Results of Movie Night
Last month, Elijah and I watched Star Wars together. As would be expected, everything was a lightsaber or a blaster for the next few days.

Aubrey's Audibles, Part 6

Fwewt Med-sin
That's what Aubrey called the fruit drink she tried at the Yellow Daisy Festival, because it was in a small plastic cup... similar to the cups we use for tylenol.

While the boys have loved taken medicine, Aubrey has had a strong aversion for the most part. But she's been willing to take Tylenol a few times. I guess it just depends on what kind of mood she's in. Like everything else.


But not too much
In September, we had our friends Jake and April over and their two little girls. Katie is not too much younger than Aubrey. Katie expressed her fondness for her friend and said, "I love you, Aubee." to which Aubrey replied, "I love you too, but when it gets dark, you have to leave."


God's Creation
Driving from church to go out to eat, Aubrey asked us from behind us in the van, "Did God make dis whole city?"

"Well," I said, "God made all the people who built this city."

"Whobody make these houses, and these cars, and these windows, and the signs, and flash lights?"


What's in my hand?
Aubrey is known to swipe things from people's houses, whether intentionally or not. As we were leaving my parent's house tonight, she voluntarily handed me a plastic vegetable. "I thought I had my shampoo," she said, referring to her pink plastic baby toy that Stephanie had already put in the car. Then she continued, "Then I looked in my hand and there were cucumbers."

I guess I would be surprised too if I mixed those up.


Where are they going?
While driving on I-85 tonight, Aubrey asked, "Are all these cars going to our house?"


The Nuzzler
That's what we call her sometimes, because she'll crawl up in your lap, or come up to your face as your sitting down and put her face to yours while sucking her thumb, and, well... nuzzle. Too cute.